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Am I boring you yet?
"You wanna know how I do it; I do it all right"
...
"I gotta hole and I'll never go home. There ain't nothing that can fill it up."
...
"Not me with a gun to my head; I can let it go"
- Queens of the Stone Age, "Infinity"
Machine's Way is a rip-off of a book that doesn't exist. Just a little fun fact for all you folks watching my slow descent into madness.
"Then it hit him like heavy silent snow. All the gray junk yesterdays. He sat there received the immaculate fix. And since he was himself a priest, there was no need to call one."
-William S. Burroghs, "The Priest They Called Him"
What the fuck is wrong with you people? Have you lost your minds?
Oh, please. You didn't help me when I asked for it and I asked many, many times in different ways. Let's not do the fucking "Look who you let yourself become" dance. And, let's not pretend who I am is all my fault. Yeah, I'm a big contributing factor but let's not just pass it all off on me. There's plenty of fucking blame to go around.
Five 2mg hydromorphones, one thirty-two once bud lite, and two bowls of killer bud.
Helping a guy move has it's benefits.
I still find racism to be an ugly thing. Racist people really bother me. I just want to clock them over the head with my pistol when they speak.
iam themaster of MyFate(interrogative).
iam themaster of MyFate(declarative).
What a nice little nod.
Nope, no cure for cancer here. No major prophecy or huge revelation. If you came here for redemption you're out of luck. And if you came for meaning you'll be here a while. Nope, it's just me waving my middle finger around and yelling.
I'm in a perpetual state of being broke.
"There is nothing I could say that I haven't thought before."
Nirvana, "Serve the Servants" from In Utero
Nothing like taking the garbage out, drunk as Hell, for my folks.
I see all these props going to people who didn't do half the shit I did. Oh, bell. Fucking people never remember the mother fucker in the background that keeps shit running smoothly.
"Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave."
- Jack, "Fight Club"
William S. Burroughs can be quite moving under the right circumstances.
"Gather 'Round the Lame Stuff"
So, I think my job's really starting to get to me.
This isn't because of the work or hours. I mean, it sucks, but that's to be expected. That's why they pay me to do it and call it a job. If it was fun and I liked it it would be a hobby.
No, I'm finding out that I'm in a situation where people don't like me. It's more than just a person. More like three or four people. It's simply something I'm not used to. A group of people that simply don't like me for no real good reason. I can't figure it out and it really bothers me. I've taking to asking them why they dislike me so and I never get a real answer. Lying sacks of shit. According to them I'm just peacky keen(to my face, of course).
It's not like these are the types of people whose opinions really matter. Actually, they are scummy and degenerate pieces of shit(aside from their disdain for me).
It's just something that I'm not accustomed to.
'Tis time for the gentle drift of pain killers. Float away to nothing. That's the way I like it.
For some reason I seem to have become High Protector of the women folk I work with and/or care about. This is a strange situation for me; Playing the part of the couragous, strong man. The violence can be sort of fun though.
Being an alcoholic is kind of fun for a while. This is mostly because you get to be drunk while you do everything.
I think it's more fun to be a junkie though. At least then you kind of have some idea of what the fuck is going on. You just happen to not like it(ie. anything) if you're not on narcotics.
My dear, sweet Lora. I wish I could figure out what it is that you want. You are clever, polite, kind, and beautiful and I wish I could make you the happiest woman to everlive.
Oh, no. I think I've started falling in love...
Fuck.
