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Everything you taught me about life I could have learned from a swift kick in the groin.
Fuck you bitch; Get someone else to get you booze illegally. You never sucked my dick. Or just wait until you've lived twenty-one jaded years. Then you'll really need it.
You never know how much you miss that opening door or closing window on your vehicle until you've gone two years without one and finally get one.
Ditto on a working seat.
"Only the Shadow Knows"
"Hi."
Translation: "HowcouldyoudothistomeyoudirtybitchafterallI'vedoneforyouandallthestruggling I'vedoneandeverythingI'vebeenthroughI'llneverforgiveyouorspeaktoyoueveragainWHORE."
One Pack of Marlboro's with five cigarettes
An orange bic lighter
A cordless, optical mouse
One pipe, nothing to go in it
A mug filled with various pens, pencils, etc
An orange screwdriver(used for scraping resin)
A coca-cola cup(empty)
An approximately six inch speaker
Various papers, receits, and credit card slips
One gray and black keyboard
A coca-cola can filled with water and cigarette butts
A diet sprite twenty ouncer filled with cigarette butts
Six empty cigarette packs
Lots of floppy disks and cds
One cordless, optical mouse reciever
My life is decidedly empty.
Apparently, I'm not the only one in the house with a taste for opiates.
Fuck.
You should be out doing something usefull right now. Aren't you ashamed?
Nikki, I regret not getting oral sex from you. That's about all you could possibly be good for besides drama.
Amy, I regret wasting my time and drugs with you.
Some fag keeps scanning for open ports on my computer. If I find this guy I'm going to wrap his balls(or her breasts) around their head and pound savagely with my mini-sledge.
I am sexist and you whores made me this way. I was, honestly, a nice guy. Fuck all you sluts. Fuck you all into the deep, cold ground. Fuck you all ad infinitum.
I regret that I was such a fuck up.
Mari, I regret not fucking you like the whore you were/are.
I regret moving out.
I regret moving back.
I regret kenetic and realistic movement in general.
Yes, yes; I'm an asshole. We've already established this. Can we move along to something more productive like you shutting the fuck up or blowing me? Or at least you leaving, never speaking to, or even thinking about me again.
Still not giving a fuck.
If I had drugs this would be much nicer and prettier.
If I had booze it would be total shit.
Go drink yourself into a coma you worthless bitch. May you wake up with tubes coming out of your ass and going into your nose.
Yes, unfortunately, I am indeed a "hater"
"Fortunate Son"
I'll tell you, I'm sure glad that the window in my room doesn't shut properly. It sure is great for recovering from the flu. Helps with that smoker's cough too. It's even neater that the heat sucks. I'm so fortunate and sometimes I just forget how much so.
Fuck.
My boss is actually kind of cool. No bullshit.
Quiet woman. You speak and all become stupider. You open your mouth and prove your own ignorance. Quiet, I say, while someone in the room may still respect you in some way I can not possibly understand.
Right now someone is doing something kinky, somewhere.
I can tell you that it's not here though.
"Tell It to the Sun"
I miss the days of listening to Tracy Bonham in shitty cars and trailers and looking forward to the future. If only I had known that the future was this. It's probably better that I didn't though. It would have ruined things. Or perhaps I could have created something better and more worthwhile. No point in worrying about that now, though. All that's left is to trudge through or die.
"How's it gonna be when you don't know me anymore."
- Third Eye Blind, "How's it Gonna Be"
That resin's doing some fine work, now.
I've probably masturbated five times today.
My life is meaningless.
I regret not being around my uncle any more than I was.
I regret the fact that she seems to not be able to forgive me.
I regret commiting acts that require forgiveness.
How could I honestly be so stupid? I'm better than that. I'm better than this. The worst part is that I know it and still I fuck off and waste every other breathe that I draw on something stupid; wastefull; lazy; empty; worthless.
To the girl with the broken life; I regret you. I don't regret knowing you, talking to you, or associating with you when I knew better; I simply regret your life. I pity you, really.
I ask myself what would make me happy and half of the answers are so noble and fine that it nearly brings me to tears and the rest is so ridiculous and stupid that I hate myself more.
I regret a time that I didn't speak to a good friend for weeks. I fear I haven't made this up to him yet. I am truely slime for that.
This is such a bunch of dribble that I feel like setting it aflame. But that would mean my porn and other more wholesome entertainment would go to.
I have the capacity to make a nice girl a very happy woman one day. I'm not sure that this will ever happen though.
Real men die bitter and alone.
"Conjunction Junction"
So, one day I come out of the doors of school to wait on my mom to pick me up. She never came that day. I was so scared that I was hyperventalating when I tried to explain it to a teacher. God bless my uncle I was so happy to see him. Damn my grandpa who did all the things in the past that caused all that trouble later. I still mean to piss on his grave.
God, where did I go wrong?
And now the pain killers take hold.
"All the battlements are empty"
"And the moon is laying low"
"Yellow roses in the graveyard"
"Got no time to watch them grow"
- Beck, "Guess I'm Doing Fine" from Sea Change
"Nothing is static; Everything is evolving; Everything is falling apart."
"We are all part of the same compost heap."
"You have to give up; You have to realize that some day you will die. Until you know that, you are useless."
"I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may."
- Tyler Durdin
You thought you had it bad before, girl? Ha. I'll make you real sorry you rejected me. I 'll fill your universe with regret. I will make the whole world sorry.
Yeah, like I've got the balls.
Why do I take pain killers? Why, to kill the pain, of course.
I want you to hurt for hurting me.
I've been drinking a lot lately.
And my life is meaningless.
It's not just that my life is meaningless. That in and of itself wouldn't be so bad and maybe I could do something about that; If that was the only problem. There is also the fact that moments of contentment are just that; Brief moments; Drops in the ocean of misery. Fuck.
Why is it every girl I meet is either a dirty bitch, hates me, or both?
I know one dirty little whore I'm never speaking to again. Sometimes it takes a night of foolishness to avoid an even longer time of the same.
Get this, I'm a creepy fucker.
I regret never telling you to fuck off.
Take your phone number and your condescension and jam them both up your ass; And, no, I won't pay to see that but I will laugh and know that you will have proven what a dirty, filthy, worthless whore (like all the others) you truely are.
How sad is it that even though I want nothing for Christmas, I understand that people will get me things and I hope it is money so I can buy drugs.
Did you order pizza at Domino's Tuesday night? Fuck you if you did.
Someone has to stand for something so fuck you and everything you hold dear. No, I don't have to make sense all the time but you're probably a sad piece of trash and it wouldn't matter if I did anyway.
"Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains."
- Jack, from Fight Club
What the fuck does it matter to you what's wrong with me? You don't really give a shit. I'm sure it will make fine gossip and all but I'm doing a decent job of making an ass of myself as it is.
"Live Free or Lie(At Least)"
Time to seek my perfect self or die. I think that, perhaps, my vengful nature is good stuff of living because knowing the kind of refuge that would revel in my death makes me want to outlive them to piss on their graves or buy and own them. I think talking about myself helps all you fuck ups to put things in perspective too. But I don't give a shit because this is my place, my home, my art, my hard work and I'd pretty much do it any fucking way. But I hope it helps make someone less of a clusterfuck although I know the chances of that are slim to none.
For some reason these assholes keep calling me a pessemist.
Be glad I don't work Christmas day at the pizza place because, although no one cares about the holiday's true meaning and I think modern times have turned it into a clusterfuck, I would at the very least make shitty food and at worst make food from my shit.
I own a handgun.
Happy Birthday, Jesus.
O Lord, haven't I paid enough for my sins in regret?
