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"...Yeah, just try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!" -Dante, Clerks
"I Knew It"
Ah, I don't know whether to laugh or cry every fucking time I'm right.
So, it appears that a certain girl that hated sex ended up fucking the first guy (that wasn't me) that came along after she got seperated from her husband. And, of course, it would only make sense to fuck someone else(also not me) while fucking him. I will now reach and pat myself on the back for again targeting and correctly predicting stupid womanly behavior.
*** I want to pistol-whip the next completely idiotic person I meet.
I hope I never have to be the cold-hearted son of a bitch that I know I can be.
... This is my revenge ...
"No Substitute"
I think that one of the best pieces of graffiti that I have ever had the pleasure of reading was on the condom machine in the men's restroom at the conveinence store I work at:
"Not a substitute for abstinence."
It was, very simply, clever.
"The Same Shit As Everywhere"
So today, which is just about as shitty as any other, I waited ten minutes for my fucking two corn dogs as usual. Funny, I thought that they might have some food fried up considering that's what they sell, but hey, fuck me for thinking.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I want to know why I can't do something as simple as sit down and eat my fucking corn dogs, dripping with greasy goodness, without someone immediately making an ass of themeselves and ruining my meal in the process. Which brings me to a prior statement:
Fuck the handicapped.
*** I am so uninspired.
*** Are you that completely obtuse, woman?
"Inadequacies"
And, so, after spending a great while of thinking about it, I decided it best to not have sex with the crazy whores who had been in the room a mere hour ago and were calling from their apartment.
This in itself is more will power than I care to have.
Damn my rational mind.
DAMNIT!DAMNITDAMNITMDANITDAMNITImGLADDAMNITDAMNITDAMNIT!
Brittainy, could you shut the fuck up for one minute and let someone else speak so the entire room isn't completely filled with mindless, witless rheteric? Just for fucking once?
*** "That came out rather Brittish, now, didn't it?"
You know, the beer, strippers, and drugs slowed down progress for a great while.
"A Muse"
One day, a rather plucky gal in a white trash uniform asks me:
"Can I accompany you?"
So naturally I reply seemlessly:
"No.. And I'd rather you left me alone you vicious whore."
I will always treasure these memories?
*** I think the problem is that I'm not on drugs. Really.
*** I always leave the seat up... after I take a piss in the women's restroom. Just for spite.
*** How could you not get the irony.. A non-existant band called Never Again. Simply a masterpiece.
"The Lonliest Number?"
I honestly think I'm fucking losing it. So where are my supposed friends?
Busy.
They are always busy. Come to think of it, the one's that aren't busy don't care. I could hang out with the guy who always wants to play shitty music in a broken down shed, but he's more interested in non-existant crowds of fans than what's bothering me... So I'd rather be alone. Hell, I'd hang out with Tabor before then, definitely. My closest friends are too busy with women, universitites, shitty jobs, sluts, homework, kids, etc.
So, more and more things start spiralling out of my sphere of influence. I believe it is almost like the chicken and the egg ordeal... The more put off I feel the more crazy shit I'll do and the more crazy shit I do the less these people want to deal with me.
How truely fucked up is that?
Oh well. I'll just have to be content being truly empty.
How's that for Irony?
Love me.
Help me, please.
