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" In The Springtime Of His Voodoo "
Fuck " Insert College Name Here ".
Some dumb fucker lights a couple fires in the dormitory next door, and suddenly Big Brother is loosed upon campus.
I HAVE TO CHECK INTO MY OWN FUCKING PLACE OF RESIDENCE?
Since it's too convienent and inexpensive to build parking GARAGES instead of repeatedly ticketing students' vehicles in random, sparse parking LOTS, they decide they'll do that instead.
Moreover, you have the nerve to throw a party celebrating how good you've done in the past year. While innocent people are being harassed and arrested in their PRIVATE ROOMS.
You fucking bitch.
At least you had the dignity to refuse the pay raise. Even though your yearly net salary is enough money to pay for my education, plus four of my buddies'.
Withdrawal does not equal failure.
Withdrawal does not equal failure.
Withdrawal does not equal failure.
Fuck Saddam Hussein. I say bomb all the fucking asshole Arab bastards. My gas prices are too fucking expensive. Let's do it and get it over with.
So I lost a little wisdom. I gained insight and legal narcotics, though.
Sorry, Foster -- I haven't been around lately. Do you miss me?
" Ooh, someone somewhere might find her somewhat attractive. "
You know what? Fuck off.
Almost everyone I meet, now I automatically assume that they're a piece of shit.
When the fucking English editing department misspells more than four words in a single paragraph, I start to worry about the quality of my education.
Six bucks, four wisdom teeth, eight more Percocets, a half-filled bottle of water and a bag of destruction, courtesy of the one I love.
Fucking peppermints started the whole goddamn thing.
" Got a devil's haircut in my mind. " - Beck Hansen
Chuck Palahniuk was right. You can only swallow about a pint of your own blood before you throw up.
I wish I didn't know that.
God bless you, Robert Jordan. You single-handedly revived my love of fantasy fiction, reading, literacy, and a drooping relationship. (Kidding, a little.)
Despite all my slacking off, I feel great. Maybe that's the narcotics talking.
You stupid whore.
" Oh, no, we shouldn't go to war because the poor animals of the countries involved may be injured or even killed. "
Fuck PETA. Thirty million AMERICANS will live in poverty in the coming year and you're worried about fucking animals?!
I say let's eat the animals. And hell, why not eat the PETAns, too?
Hahaha.
I don't know what the future may hold, but I'm thinking about sharing it with you. (quote)
Don, I just want to say that I'm sorry for getting your hopes up. And maybe you should keep the popcorn ready. Just in case.
Isn't it cool to be a mammal?
Check out Beck's new album. It's very nice.
Dry sockets.
Keep your hands and your feet and your teeth to yourself. Bitch.
Right, he wouldn't ever get up that early for anyone else. Except them. Liar.
" Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life. "
Asshole.
I would stand in line for this.
Hey, I can almost eat solid food again. Cool.
Isn't it awesome to be literate?
Fuck Germany and France, and Russia. You wouldn't exist if it weren't for the kindness and good-nature with which America has kicked so much ass.
Oh, now you want to fucking talk to me? After months and months of me prodding and prowling to get you to say anything of substance to me, I leave you alone, I do what you fucking ask, and then it's still my fucking fault?
Fuck off.
Death, destruction, and confetti.
Once the Earth was a giant snowball. In my reveries I like to think it will all end as a giant fireball hurtling through space and crashing into planets all and sundry.
Do you have to try and Tabor everything up?
You are so utterly full of yourselves sometimes. Just you wait until I'm through with you.
Hey, I just realised I've stopped being vague.
" ' I refuse to prove that I exist, ' says God, ' for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing. '
' But, ' says Man, ' the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED. '
' Oh dear, ' days God, ' I hadn't thought of that, ' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. "
---Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy
P l e a s e e x c u s e t h e i n c o n v e n i e n c e .
