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sometimes i think that the world is the most extraordinary thing in creation.
by the world, i mean people, and how they interact with one another.
there are also times, however, where i think that armagheddon is a good and healthy idea, and that it should show up, soon, like the morning paper.
the new york times could not dream of such destruction.
some of my fellow associates in the occupation of being human like to think that the only two things in life are creation and destruction.
bullshit.
although i myself like to think i live a life of extremity, it is not as such. nothing is ever black and white. ever.
every thing we as people do, we all live and breathe in shades of grey. every thing we touch, and smell, and see, and even (gasp) hear....it is all in the science of subtlety, and it always shall be.
until the ultimate destruction, anyway.
whatever.
lately my thoughts have been invaded by sentimentality. not a good thing.
sentiment and romance, two things that i so highly touted in my youth, have left me burned. third fucking degree.
am i bitter? i plead guilty.
i have left others with this same taste of bitterness, this same jaded manner that i now proudly carry with me.
i am terrified, for the walls are falling down. i have been completely disarmed. i could be wrong.
maybe tyler durden was right. pessimism can only help, at this juncture.
" this is your life, and it's ending, one minute at a time. "
when i die will i feel that i have wasted mine?
will you?
