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I believe in eventuallity and revenge. I guess you could say that means I hold a grudge.
There are those who will always hate me. There are those who will always love me. The rest of you are pretty well fucked too.
"I will eat your soul."
"I would do anything to keep her here tonight."
-Smashing Pumpkins, In the Arms of Sleep
"Suffer My Desire"
"if love existed we wouldn't be so soft and easy to ruin"
"The shit that passes for love these days..."
When I am a powerful man you will wish otherwise.
I don't forget(forgive).
Here's hint number seventy-five for the dumbasses in the house:
If, in the last year or two, I have completey cut you out of my life and everything in it as much as I possibly can, I don't like you. Your presence makes me ill, physically if not mentally. You serve no purpose to me. No amount of calling, knocking on my door, or coming to my place of business will make me like you.
"You Tabored my day, man."
"Should you get a gun and go and get revenge?"
-Sonic Youth, 100%
"How many times will I ask myself why; How many times?"
-ICP, How Many Times
So what the fuck is it lately with these bitches starting conversations with me then completely stopping talking when I participate? Here's a fucking crazy idea: DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK. Is that so fucking hard to understand? Fuck.
If I don't find something to ease the screaming misery in my head I might go off and have to ruin some lives. I need some drugs.
Tonight as I sat in the parking lot of a generic Wal-Mart in generic town USA, I wanted an assault rifle so I could rid the world of some fucking trash.
Today I relived everything I shouldn't have to.
I'm not a magician; I'm not a superman; But I am the guy that will tell you that you're fucking stupid.
Until you give me a fucking better idea, I'll keep raping the land and it's people for my own good. Want more? Give me reason. Give me direction. Give me something besides your incesant bitching and inaction.
Are you stupid?
Just as fair warning, I promised myself to never be taken for a fool again.
Unique and special are two different things.
Why do I keep punishing myself like this?
"Today, all our dreams are breaking."
-Beck, Little One
What a terrible thing to tell a man.
I can't win for losing.
Fuck.
How did I fuck up this time, might I inquire?
And the pain now ebbs away to a distant chill in the face of drugs. Thank you ever so much.
I guess it would be a fucking shame to spend more than an hour of my life not being miserable.
And now I quote from a song we used to play in our youth, "Do whatever you want.".
"Baby, I'm a lost cause."
-Beck, "Lost Cause" from Sea Change
I forgot how nice it was to be this numb to the world.
I guess, if I wasn't high, I would be sad and miserable.
Nevermore.
I don't know that there is anything more frightening and fullfilling at the same time than a recording of Christopher Walkin reciting "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe.
"I think I'm gonna die today; Everyone who hurt me's gonna pay."
-Everlast, "So Long"
You should buy Beck's albumn, Sea Change. Yes, you.
It may take me a while but I will get what is mine.
"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."
"Where you are now you can't even imagine what the bottom will be like."
"Nothing is static; Everything is evolving; Everything is falling apart."
I just want to know at what point I became a loser.
It doesn't take much to please me.
If only it was worth all of the fucking trouble.
Whatever. Fine. I give up. You fucking win.
"You're hot."
"A Make-Over Story"
Today I saw about ten minutes of a fashion program on tv. In that time I wanted to:
Ten minutes, folks. We cannot have come to this. It can't be this stupid. The world simply can't be as dumb as we act lest we spin off the surface and float away ridding this galaxy of a horrendous mistake.
I guess I should probably isolate myself from other people at this point.
I think I love you.
Fuck.
Tonight (you are)/is mine.
